I read a lot of YA – especially during the school year. I started Kelly Loy Gilbert’s novel When We Were Infinite some time in May, but didn’t get around to finishing it because of all the craziness that happens at the end of the school year. I brought it home and finally got around to reading the second half of the book and I am so glad that I did because this is a superior YA book.

Beth, a talented violinist, lives in the Bay area with her Chinese-American mother. Her white father has moved out and Beth blames her mother. Her besties – Grace, Brandon, Sunny and Jason – are all Asian-American and also musicians. The five of them are part of the Bay Area Youth Symphony and are making plans to attend the same college after graduation.

There was so much the five of us had lived through together, so much we’d seen each other through. But in the whole long span of our history together, this was the most important thing my friends had done for me: erased that silence in my life. In the music and outside it, too, we could take all our discordant parts and raise them into a greater whole so that together, and only together, we were transcendent.

Beth is secretly in love with Jason and has been “for nearly as long as [she’d] known him.” That’s why, when she and Brandon witness an act of violence at Jason’s house, which ultimately needs to an even more shocking act, it sends Beth into a tailspin of worry.

Beth is telling this story from some point in the future, and the care with which she treats her younger self and her friends is lovely. It’s easy to look back at our younger selves and view the mistakes and missteps harshly, but Beth doesn’t do that. This book is really a love story: friendship and family and even our ability to love ourselves as much as anything else.

As an only child, and as a child of mixed ethnicity, Beth struggles with feeling as though she doesn’t really belong. She’s not white enough and she’s not Asian enough. Musically, perhaps she’s not good enough. Her conductor thinks she is and encourages her to apply to Julliard. Jason is first chair and clearly talented and he applies too, and when they both get auditions, they sneak off to NYC together.

This book is so beautifully written and so heartfelt and would speak to anyone who has ever felt ‘other’. Beth has a hard time articulating her feelings. I think she constantly feels as though she has to work harder than anyone else to be accepted and loved and perfect because if she’s not – maybe her friends will leave her just like her father did.

When We Were Infinite tackles some tough topics with sensitivity and I highly recommend it.